Tips on talking menopause with teenagers and younger children
- Hormone changes during perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships with your children
- Knowing how to broach the topic of perimenopause and menopause with your family can be tricky
- An honest approach, with age-appropriate language, can help your children understand what you are experiencing
Your perimenopause and menopause can be a time of significant upheaval, with symptoms which can be challenging in both range and severity.
The chances are this won’t only affect you – your loved ones, including your children, are likely to notice changes.
You may be feeling particularly tired, anxious or irritable, and patience at home can be worn thin. So how much should you share with your children about what you are experiencing as your hormone levels change, and how do you go about it?
Should I tell my children about my menopause?
Unless they are very young, then talking to your children about your perimenopause and menopause experience is generally a good approach.
It’s important that we all talk about hormone changes more, and this is definitely starting to happen with periods, the menopause and the perimenopause. It is brilliant that we are able to be more open about these issues and this makes it more likely we can get the support and understanding we need. Our children need to be part of these conversations. It is about breaking that taboo.’
Age-appropriate menopause conversations
So how can you broach the subject effectively?
Information needs to be tailored to their age, as this will greatly influence how much they can understand. Ensuring that children know the correct names of their body parts, including their intimate areas, can help with conversations around what we experience at different stages of our lives. You may not want to talk about your perimenopause or menopause if your children are too young to understand. But making sure they have the vocabulary is a start, so that when they have the understanding, you can start talking about your menopause.
‘Start very, very small, with just little bits of information, so that they can understand properly and clearly. Always be honest in what you tell them.’
When you are having conversations around puberty, this can be a good time to mention what happens at the other end for women.
‘Touch on what happens when these hormones start to decline, and that this is happening for you’.
Understanding the power of hormones
Discussing the power of our hormones and being respectful of their impact throughout our lives is a good approach, says Dr Louise.
‘Try and improve understanding of your hormones, and the impact of their fluctuations,
‘Talk about how changes throughout a woman’s life can bring different symptoms, can lead to postnatal depression, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), and, later, the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. Improving our and our children’s knowledge around the changes in our bodies is an empowering move. It can help them understand their own experiences and changes, and the importance of seeking care if needed now and throughout their lives.’
Highlight that positive solutions are out there
While your perimenopause and menopause experiences are unique, for many women they can bring significant challenges.
These changes can affect most areas of your life, including work and home, so sharing this with your children can help them understand what you are and why you may be different.
‘Encourage your children to talk to a healthcare professional if they have any hormonal difficulties and demonstrate to them that you do. This shows the importance of getting up-to-date and individualised advice.’
When puberty and menopause collide
In some households, children will be going through puberty as their mother experiences perimenopause or menopause, leading to a potentially volatile combination of hormonal changes.
Here, openness is particularly important and beneficial.This can be a fraught time for a family.
‘Understanding why we, or our children, may be particularly irritable or tired is really important. Maintain and protect that respect for each other, even when sleep is poor, we aren’t feeling great, and emotions are running high.’
